acts of kindness – random or purposeful?

I tend to lump most kind gestures into the category of “random acts of kindness” when in fact, they aren’t all necessarily random.  Gretchen Rubin is an amazing writer, and knows a thing or two about happiness as evidenced in her Happiness Project.  I stumbled upon her Huffington Post article, where she points out some of the drawbacks of committing random acts of kindness.

I believe most of us can appreciate her realistic insight into the practice.  Let’s be honest,  a good majority of people would question the motives of the do-gooder, wondering what they might expect in return.  I don’t want someone to question me for buying them a cup of coffee.  I don’t even want them to thank me – I just want them to feel like there are good people in this world, willing to do unexpected nice things for others.

What it boils down to is one of the best lessons I learned studying Communications in college: it’s all about perception.  You can control the words you choose, and the way you deliver your message.  But ultimately, you have no control over how the other person receives your message, or interprets what you’re saying.  The same principle applies to recipients of random acts of kindness.  Our intentions might be pure, but without knowing the recipient, it’s especially hard to gauge how they’ll perceive our actions.  Without that control, we have to decide how comfortable we are performing random kind gestures given the possibility that the people we do them for, won’t view them as unselfish as we intend.

I believe that doing any kind of good for others can bring you happiness, and I can live with the fact that others won’t always “get it” when I’ve committed a random act of kindness for them.  For me, it’s worth it, even if only a fraction of a percent of people will turn around and appreciate my kindness, or better yet, decide to pay it forward.

Random acts of kindness are completely worthwhile, but bear in mind that kindness with purpose is as meaningful and worthy.  Spread good karma and be kind to others, period.

photo courtesy of mtsofan